Make a step back or start a history from new page?

Why so many expats return to their lands? It is not a secret for my anymore. In reality, a lot of secrets aren't secrets for me anymore, however the life isn't easier because of that. 

  Probably, I'm the one from our whole family, who had the chose to leave the place or not. Because of a lot of reasons. For example, I had a well-paid really nice job, really warm and comfortable place for living, friends, with whom we have gathered all the ''happy hours'' after job and who has joined me on the morning weekend fairs. I had the sea i a distance of 100 meters from my house, and even the view with sea from my apartment. I had lots of things... But, who needs it, when you have a hole in your soul? Who needs it? Tell me. I wanna know. I wanna only travel around the world. I wanna meet new people. I wanna learn new language. I wanna live the life I will remember. And it is not  the life in front of computer, buying useless staff and going every summer to the same place just to relax in front of the sea. I'm not that kinda person. Just want that you understand me. 'Cause on the other hand, I wanna be sure that my family is doing alright without myself, isn't it important? What do you think? I really do not know. May be I need a sign or an ass kick. What do I need to feel myself comfortable? Do I need to be with my family? Or I can leave them all and around the world looking for adventures and new experience. I don't have a plan actually right now. But, may be will be better if I had it, like ten years ago. Because now, sincerely, I feel myself like a boat in the ocean, just a boat, not a ship or submarine, just a little boat in a huge gorgeous ocean, however, without any direction. Just like I has lost. I has lost myself. And I need to find me. 

 I just wanted to say that I think I had a plan. May be kinda crazy. But I'm on it be sure.